


Whose Chat is this Anyway?

by FancyMeetingYouHere



Category: GOT7
Genre: All the bad jokes, Also so much crack, College Setting, Drabbles, M/M, Texting, YugBam are little shits, but love all around, crackfic, none of this should be looked at too closely, random shit, semi-horny GOT7, texting fic because I like them, whacked GOT7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26897134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyMeetingYouHere/pseuds/FancyMeetingYouHere
Summary: GOT7 are in college and of course it's Jackson who brings the gang together ... eventually. Told through multitude of texting drabbles with loose plot.ParkGae what the fuckis this messWildAndSexy I need an audienceParkGae it can be an audience of twoWildAndSexy why am I friends with you again?ParkGae because I have the patience of an angel
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not dead. I am, unfortunately, extremely busy and you can thank my friend for me posting the shit I write when I'm sleep-deprived and in a MOOD. Updates for this will therefore be very sporadic, my apologies.
> 
> In case you're wondering why I'm busy, it went something like this:
> 
> Me, chilling and enjoying an abundance of inspiration: I like this. This is nice.
> 
> Life, kicking the door off its hinges with a foghorn in hand: GUESS WHO'S BACK BITCHES!!
> 
> So, yes. If anyone wants to share their opinion with me about this weird manifestation of my own exhaustion, please leave a comment. It made my friend chuckle, and hopefully it'll do the same for you.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _created a groupchat_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _added Bambam, Yugyeom and Jinyoung to the chat_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _named Bambam ‘ **Chopstick** ’_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _named Yugyeom ‘ **Leggie** ’_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _named Jinyoung ‘ **Daddy** ’_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _named the chat ‘gay talk’_

**Daddy** I oppose

**WildAndSexy** too bad

**Leggie** who dis?

**Chopstick** bitch u knw me

**Leggie** sadly

but who daddy?

can he be my daddy?

**Chopstick** BITCH

**Daddy** I will leave

I can leave

I’m leaving

**WildAndSexy** NO

stay

ugh, fine

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _has named Daddy ‘ **ParkGae** ’_

**WildAndSexy** stay

**Chopstick** u a whipped boi

**Leggie** snort

**ParkGae** what the fuck

is this mess

**WildAndSexy** I need an audience

**ParkGae** it can be an audience of two

**WildAndSexy** why am I friends with you again?

**ParkGae** because I have the patience of an angel

**Chopstick** a burn and self-praise

**Leggie** props to daddy

**ParkGae** Jackson, who are the munchkins

**Chopstick** DOUBLE B IN DA HOUSE!

**Leggie** I’m Yugyeom

the loud one’s Bambam

**ParkGae** no

the loud one is Jackson

**Leggie** no?

**WildAndSexy** MOVING ON!

**ParkGae** oh joy, there’s two of them

**Leggie** this’ll be fun

**WildAndSexy** SILENCE, MY GAYS

I REQUIRE YOUR EAR!

**Leggie** uhm, mine are attached

**Chopstick** you all actually gay in here?

**ParkGae** Jackson’s bi, I’m gay

I’m Jinyoung, btw

**Leggie** gay!!

**Chopstick** I’m pan

neato

**WildAndSexy** GUYS

*GAYS

*NON-HETEROS

**Leggie** non-heteros?

**ParkGae** told you

he’s the loud one

**Chopstick** HELL NAH!

I AM BITCH!

**ParkGae** I already have a headache

**WildAndSexy** then shut up and let me taaaaalk

**ParkGae** this is a chat

you can talk when I’m talking

you usually never stop

**WildAndSexy** sulks

**Leggie** aaaww

don’t pout

what did you need us gays for?

*us gays and the pansexual?

**Chopstick** thank

**Leggie** 😊

**WildAndSexy** I am suffering

and you must suffer with me

**ParkGae** come again?

**Chopstick** lol

gladly

**Leggie** I want context before I decide

**Chopstick** kinky

**ParkGae** why am I here?

**WildAndSexy** because you’re one of three people I know that can appreciate the beauty of a man’s ass

**Chopstick** I like where this is going

**Leggie** okay, I’m in

asses and pain

what’s the sitch?

**Chopstick** did you just…?

nvm

**ParkGae** I am both appalled and intrigued

why are you talking about a man’s ass?

**WildAndSexy** not just an ass

THE ass

You have competition, Jinyoung

**ParkGae** I beg to differ

my ass is superior

**Chopstick** you know

I like these guys

**Leggie** they’re talking about asses

I like them too

**ParkGae** you best send me proof with your claim

I worked hard for this ass

give me back my THE title

**Leggie** is that why you were daddy for five seconds?

**WildAndSexy** yes

and his thighs

and his six pack

**ParkGae** Jackson, what the fuck

**Chopstick** please do fuck

**Leggie** …

daddy

**ParkGae** I don’t even know you!

Jackson!

**WildAndSexy** you started this one

I just wanted to talk about a man’s ass

you dragged your own into it

**Chopstick** let the man love his own ass

**Leggie** he worked hard for that ass

**ParkGae** …I regret everything

and I blame Jackson

**WildAndSexy** NOT MY FAULT

**ParkGae** You know that’s my weakness!

**Leggie** your ass is your weakness?

**Chopstick** whatever will we do with that information …

**Leggie** …

Daddy

**ParkGae** nope

**_ParkGae_ ** _has left the chat_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _has added Jinyoung to the chat_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _has named Jinyoung ‘ **Salty** ’_

**Salty** I said no!

**Chopstick** don’t be a little bitch

**Leggie** or start

that works too

**Salty** I’m being harassed by Jackson’s friends

why is this not even surprising

**Chopstick** because we’re fab

**Salty** your name is chopstick

get over yourself

**Chopstick** cause I’m long and hard 24/7

**WildAndSexy** you wish chopstick

**Salty** faintly disturbing

**Leggie** dude, you’re a twig, that’s why

you’ve got zero muscle

**Chopstick** trifle

I fucking kill heels and booty shorts

**Salty** that’s not what I imagined with the name Bambam

**Chopstick** rood

**WildAndSexy** he’s not a Bambam

he’s barely a faint slap

a strong breath could knock this kid over

but back to THE ass

**Chopstick** wrong

my heels will dig in and save me

HAH!

**Salty** …did you just say kid

**Leggie** you’d need cement shoes to save you

and then you’d be stuck

cause you’re too weak to lift em

**Chopstick** you’re still a bitch I see

**Leggie** teehee

**Salty** Is this tiny thing not of age yet?

**Chopstick** ugh

so not tiny

**WildAndSexy** he is!

he’s eighteen

**Leggie** dude you’re a head smaller than me

and I’m like three months younger

you tiny bro

**Chopstick** you’re a fucking giant!

**Salty** children

we had a discussion about asses with literal children

Jackson I will murder you 😊

**WildAndSexy** …oh shit

**Chopstick** …okay but, why am I scared

**Leggie** Jackson?

…

you alive?

…

he dead bro

**Chopstick** fuck bro


	2. Chapter 2

**WildAndSexy** THE ass is back

**Chopstick** HE LIVES!

**Leggie** BRO

did you die?

**WildAndSexy** …no?

**Chopstick** obvi

but how?

daddy was really scary

**Leggie** did he punish you?

was there leather involved?

whips?

**WildAndSexy** …

okay no

starting to see Jinyoung’s point

**Salty** finally

**Leggie** DADDY!

**Salty** don’t fucking try me kid

**Chopstick** i think the point is that he wants to

try you

(out for a ride)

**Salty** I have a strict no pedophilic actions policy

also

**_Salty_ ** _has added Youngjae <3 to ‘gay talk’_

**_Salty_ ** _has named Youngjae <3 **ThePureOne**_

**Chopstick** we have admin!!??

**WildAndSexy** hell nah

**Chopstick** but he does?

**WildAndSexy** he’s known me too long not to have blackmail pictures

**ThePureOne** hello!

I’m Youngjae

who are you all?

**Leggie** not sure if throwing a pure child in this chat is a good idea

I’m Yugyeom

**WildAndSexy** it’s Jackson, kiddo

**ThePureOne** hey hyung!

hello, Yugyeom!

nice to meet you

**Chopstick** I’M DOUBLE B! TREMBLE BEFORE MY AWESOMENESS!

**ThePureOne** hello double b!

it’s nice to meet you too

**Chopstick** … wow

I’m

I’m crying?

**Leggie** who is this child

why is he so …

**Salty** not a little shit like you?

he’s mine

I need him in here to balance out your crazy shit

**ThePureOne** is this the thing where they were teasing you about your ass?

**Salty** it was Jackson’s fault

**WildAndSexy** nOPE!

you did that!

not me!

NUH UH!

**ThePureOne** but you have a really nice ass

why would anyone tease you for it?

**Chopstick** it’s his weakness … *hinthint*

**Leggie** *nudgenudge*

**ThePureOne** I have nudged it

that’s how I know it’s a very nice ass

**Leggie** …whut

**Chopstick** HE IS NOT PURE

YOU LIED

**Salty** he is the purest thing in existence

**ThePureOne** did you not tell them we sleep together?

**Leggie** WHY CAN HE, BUT NOT I!

**Salty** first off, he’s my boyfriend

secondly, he’s twenty

thirdly, you’re just a hormonal teen

**Chopstick** what is it with you and this age thing?

**Leggie** #rejected

I cry

**ThePureOne** don’t cry!

*sends cuddles*

**Salty** Youngjae, don’t touch

you don’t know where he’s been

**Leggie** I know where I’d like to be …

**Chopstick** IN THE ASS

**Salty** where tf is Jackson

come collect your teenage delinquents

**ThePureOne** whose ass?

**Leggie** Daddy’s

**Salty** unfortunately, he means me

**ThePureOne** no no no 😊

you can’t 😊

Jinyoungie’s mine 😊

**Chopstick** … it’s the smiley face again

**Leggie** this one is not pure

why are all Jackson’s friends terrifying

**Salty** speak for yourself

you’re a damn nightmare

**Leggie** and proud

teehee

**ThePureOne** where’s @Jackson?

**Salty** busy with his own ass no doubt

**Chopstick** o.O

hOw?!

**Leggie** think he means THE ass that prompted this chat

**ThePureOne** but Jinyoung has THE ass

I should know

**Leggie** yeah yeah, rub it in

**ThePureOne** gladly 😊

**Chopstick** HE IS SO NOT PURE

I demand a name change

**Salty** shut up

**Chopstick** make me

**_Salty_ ** _has removed **Chopstick** from ‘gay talk’_

**Salty** there

**Leggie** …forgot you had admin

**Salty** 😊

**Leggie** @JACKSON

I’M SCARED

I DON’T WANT TO DIEEEE!

**WildAndSexy** ffs who’s @ing me?

where’s chopstick

oh

I leave for like three minutes

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _has added Bambam to ‘gay talk’_

**_WildAndSexy_ ** _has named Bambam **DeadChopstick**_

**DeadChopstick** accurate

**Salty** can’t we kill him again?

**ThePureOne** but he’s kinda fun

**Salty** okay fine

**Leggie** WHIPPED

**Salty** *clears throat*

**Leggie** HELP

**WildAndSexy** stop killing them

start paying attention to me

**Salty** you know I never do

**ThePureOne** that’s not true!

**WildAndSexy** I KNEW IT!

**ThePureOne** you recorded ever second of Jackson eating snow at that snowboard place last year

**Salty** good times

**WildAndSexy** YOUNGJAE WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME

**DeadChopstick** DEAD

**Leggie** PLEASE TELL ME YOU STILL HAVE THAT

**DeadChopstick** DECEASED

**Salty** I do

I very much do

**Leggie** PLEASE SEND

**WildAndSexy** DON’T YOU DARE

**ThePureOne** it’s nothing to be ashamed of!

you were trying very hard!

**DeadChopstick** asdfghjkjhgfd

**Leggie** DEAD 2

**WildAndSexy** THIS IS NOT WHAT I CREATED THIS CHAT FOR

**Salty** there is no reason for this chat

**ThePureOne** there isn’t?

I thought it was your ass?

**Leggie** HE IS NOT PURE AND I LOVE IT

**ThePureOne** Oh, I am!

**Salty** he is

shut up or die

**DeadChopstick** I believe that threat

**Salty** and yet you talk

**WildAndSexy** GAYS

AND PAN

AND BI

**DeadChopstick** why’s he naming himself

**ThePureOne** no that’s me

I’m bi

who’s pan?

**DeadChopstick** yah boi B)

**WildAndSexy** THE ass is back and looking better than ever

**ThePureOne** Jinyoung’s is better!

**Salty** Thank you

**WildAndSexy** IT’S IN FORMFITTED TIGHT OWRKOUT PANTS AND HE’S DOING SQUATS

**Salty** you’re at the gym?

**WildAndSexy** of course I’m at the gym

**Leggie** don’t you have class in like 30 min?

**WildAndSexy** well yeah

I’m still on campus

**DeadChopstick** we have a gym on campus!????

**Salty** I’m coming

**WildAndSexy** whut

why!

**Salty** I’m going to judge his ass

**ThePureOne** me too!

I’m coming!

**Leggie** me three!

**DeadChopstick** GYEOM!

TRAITOR!

YOU KNEW WE HAD A GYM!

**Leggie** teehee

duh

**DeadChopstick** YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING

**Leggie** you’ll break a bone just looking at the weights

**DeadChopstick** BUT ALL THE NICE PEOPLE

IN THE GYM

YUGYEOM!

COME BACK HERE YOU COWARDS AND TELL ME WHERE IT IS

I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE

DISHONOR ON YOU

DISHONOR ON YOUR COW

nvm I found it on google maps

I’m coming too!


	3. Chapter 3

**DeadChopstick** (pic)

what do you think?

**WildAndSexy** WHAT THE FUVCK!

**Salty** wrong chat bam

**DeadChopstick** no no

I want your opinions

**ThePureOne** on your dickpic?

**Salty** Youngjae don’t look

**DeadChopstick** it’s not mine

asking for a friend

**ThePureOne** oh

it’s not bad

maybe a bit bushy?

can’t see much

**Salty** not even gonna

**WildAndSexy** DUDE WHAT THE HELL

also, what Youngjae said

the angle seems off?

but WHAT THE FUCK

WHOS DICK IS THAT!

**DeadChopstick** just a friend

thanks

**Salty** wait

what friend is sending you dickpics?

Bambam!

**ThePureOne** I’m sure it’s fine

he seemed very relaxed

**Salty** Bambam!

so help me I will kill you again

**DeadChopstick** sheesh, relax

no one you know

**WildAndSexy** seriously?

not that I know all of your friends, but who trades dickpics with each other?

**DeadChopstick** we’re pretty close

**ThePureOne** do you have a boyfriend!

**DeadChopstick** ew no

**Salty** Is this friend older than you?

**DeadChopstick** uhm, why?

**Salty** Have you send him any pictures back?

**WildAndSexy** Bambam, that’s a little concerning

**ThePureOne** Bammie no!

be safe!

**DeadChopstick** I am?

it’s fine guys

**WildAndSexy** does this friend go to class here?

**Salty** who is it?

**WildAndSexy** I want to meet him

**Salty** me too

**ThePureOne** whoops, you worried the mom and the hyung

**DeadChopstick** it’s just a dick you guys!

**Salty** Bambam, you will tell me who this boy is and I will make sure his intentions are pure!

**DeadChopstick** O.O

when did I gain a second mom?

**WildAndSexy** when you met him

**ThePureOne** trust me, it’s easier to just fess up

**Salty** wait

…

where’s Yugyeom?

**WildAndSexy** now that you mention it, that is weird

**DeadChopstick** whoops late for class

gtg

**ThePureOne** but it’s almost 8pm?

**Salty** did we just see what I think we saw?

**WildAndSexy** …

EEWWWW

BAMBAM YOU FUCKER

**ThePureOne** wait, what?

**Salty** this whole chat is a curse

**ThePureOne** what did we just see

**Salty** nothing

**WildAndSexy** NOT NOTHING  
I CAN’T UNSEE

HOW TO BLEACH MY EYES

AND BRAIN

**ThePureOne** I’m concerned

hyung, don’t put bleach in your eyes

**Salty** he’s fine Jaejae

**ThePureOne** ow

what about Yugyeom and Bambam?

**Salty** they’re dead 😊

**ThePureOne** ooooohhhh

so that was Yugyeom’s dick then?

**Salty** not for long

ThatGiantDick <-> DevilInDisguise

**ThatGiantDick** WHAT THE FUCK YOU DICKHEAD

IM GOING TO ROAST YOUR BALLS OVER OPEN FIRE

AND SHAVE OFF ALL YOUR HAIR

EVERYWHERE

WHY THE FUCK

**DevilInDisguise** calm down you dweeb

they don’t know it’s you

besides they agree

the angle’s off

**ThatGiantDick** YOU DID THIS OVER A BET

YOU WANTED TO BE FUCKING RIGHT

**DevilInDisguise** newsflash, I am

**ThatGiantDick** YOURE ALSO DEAD

**DevilInDisguise** yuggie it’s okay

they don’t know

ow

uhm

so, hypothetically speaking

**ThatGiantDick** KUNPIMOOK BHUWAKUL

IM TELLING MARK YOU TORE HIS FAV JERSEY IN HIGH SCHOOL

**DevilInDisguise** PLEASE NO IM SORRY

IT WAS A FULLPROOF PLAN

DONT SEND YOUR HOMICIDAL BROTHER AFTER ME

**ThatGiantDick** TOO LATE BITCH

RIP BAMBAM

MARK TUAN WITH THE NEAREST LAPTOP IN THE DORMROOM

YOU A DEAD BITCH

TheOtherOne <-> MT

**TheOtherOne** please don’t kill me?

**MT** leave me out of this

**TheOtherOne** love you too!


End file.
